The Roller Coaster- My Life as a Bi Polar Spouse

Newness brings out the best, the most exciting, the most stable seeming side to my husband. That newness can come in the form of a friendship (or audience), season or even just a resolve to do better. To try one more time to make the best of a situation that is ever changing and yet will always be the same. The only thing we can count on is the fact that we cannot really count on anything. When you think about it, this is everyone's life but now add the bright lights and bells as if you are in a casino, add the adrenaline rush of the first hill of a roller coaster, add the fear of the ominous music in a horror movie and add the devastation of natural disaster and you are left standing in the middle of the debris with no real idea of what just happened, but somehow you have to fix it.

Then you look at the person that is your partner in life knowing that they feel so trapped in what is their true reality. I am one of the lucky ones. My husband is medicine compliant, therapy compliant and receives disability. He cycles, but his cycles are often relatively predictable. He accepts his diagnosis and does the easy work for stability. We have boundaries, no, I have boundaries for when the cycle gets a hold of him and the boundaries are so much easier to keep now that the kids are older. The best laid plans have glitches but at least there is a base. As the wife of a very good man with bi polar disorder this base is not our foundation. Our foundation is built on our spirituality. Some days it is no more than my vow to love ,honor and cherish this man in sickness and in health, that keeps us together but most days, I just can't imagine my life without him.

Our 17th anniversary just passed a few weeks ago. The pandemic created every plan he made for our anniversary to fall through but the fact that he planned such a special weekend was genuinely the biggest gift for me. Married 17 years and together almost 20, there are a lot of topics that will be shared. Family support, protecting finances, therapy commitments, raising children, raised children, accusations, vulnerability and self care to start with. Are we a success story? Some days we are and others, not so much. Self care and support have been the key for me. I would love to know what works for you.